No wonder, really.

I keep remembering things I said to my former friend, or did with the assumption that I was her friend, and I cringe in retroactive embarrassment. No wonder she dumped me. Although at the time, I was often assured I was fine, welcome, good as I was, accepted completely.

Apparently, not.

Rudeness only visible to the rude

Two fucktards at work. One who does not take his animals to a vet. (ugh) And the other who treats everyone like crap, and assures me I am rude.

I know how seriously to take this, but it still rankles.

Some things last, others don't

Went through the photos. So many of my dear former friend. All so very sad. Nothing to be done.

Permaheadache this week.

Ain't gonna float no more.

Not well, in my body, but first my mind. Being floated to another facility sounds ok. But it is like being thrown in the deep end, then someone pushes your head under, all in fun.

So, today, I'm sick at home, and rightfully so.

Suicidal ideation

I have gotten so I don't consider suicidal thoughts a comfort. Which doesn't mean they never happen, I just don't let them run around wild. They've been a default so much of my existence.

More than just not doing it because I didn't want some poor soul to have to clean up the body.

New normal, continued.

After the prep for the temporary tooth cap, I developed more cold sores, oral herpes. As I formed an unprecedented mass of blisters after the split lip. Looks like this will be a consistent feature of my life from now on.

And the scar already always feels like I've got a permanent cold sore starting.