The memory of smoke

The memory of smoke

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

must get this eased

The numb tingling over my hip is not quite as bad. Kneading, icing, needling the huge knots on my sacral spine. Stilll, worrying.

Smelling the rain.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

My feet hurt and my eyes are still blurry.

"Time is not a straight line but rather a labyrinth, and if you press yourself against the wall in the right place you can hear the hurried steps and the voices, you can hear yourself walk past on the other side."
- Tomas Tranströmer
saturn rising
anglican saint

From Whiskey River, natch.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Such a difference an attitude makes

The big test. Woke up prickly, even snapping at Dylan. Then worked flat out for 14 hours.

I turned it around, and got very nearly cheerful.

Saturday, May 18, 2013


Yesterday, actually. Ordered and got more obs. Resigned to further waiting.

Patience is never easy.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Ain't over til it's over.

Gave in, ordered more OBs. This ain't over, ain't gonna be over, have to resign myself to another decade. Started yesterday, after only 3 weeks.

So tired.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Ignorance is bold, wisdom reserved.

I don't think there is a God. Possibly many small gods, kanji, spirits, energies. Even then, probably not, not really, although it's a useful metaphor.

But I've got too much respect for the scientific way of thinking to believe beyond a doubt, can't prove there isn't, only that there is no compelling proof for.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Agnostic for damn good reasons

I can only feel sorry for the friends, widow, even the brother, of the elder bomber. They all got sucked into his own entitlement to the kind of friends he wanted, all others must pay with blood. Not that they are not responsible for their own actions, and inactions, only that I see them as victims as well.

Of zealotry and blame and self righteousness, of culture bound and absolute religions.