The memory of smoke

The memory of smoke

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Tea ceremonies of the overshowered.

For those who would regulate and define the only way to drink tea, I say, psbbbbbtppptptptptssp! Ritual is what you make it, according to circumstances. Tea even more so.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Haunted and taunted

Finally, yesterday, LDLMP.

Mothering has to involve not letting your child feel judged for every damn thing. But when mom judges everyone around, as a lesson to daughter of what not to do, then shows no interest in the adult child becomes, she will be judged in return. I hid everything of myself that she criticized in others, all the time. I never gave her the chance not to like me, but she didn't anyway.

I'm not real to her, there is no connection between us.

I drop the rope. But my imagined mother still haunts me.

Sunday, August 18, 2013


Bloody sick of bloody bleeding. Bloody hell. Bloody awful.


Saturday, August 17, 2013

None of my business.

Sometimes, I wouldn't know what I know, when people give me what they see as neutral information, but for me carries much more weight. Pregnancies shared too early, how glad they are not to be vomiting, seeing obesity and aware of fertility difficulties. Which all says to me, high risk, not oh-so-happy.

I smile and congratulate and bite my tongue.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Oh, fer phuck.

Ten days? TEN DAYS!? Fucking hell.

Damn, blast and radiation damage.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Family obligations often really aren't.

Energy flowed back in on Friday, no idea where it'd been hiding. Oh, maybe it's because I now cannot attend the family event in Nowhere CA in April, using up all our vacation time and funds, and no longer have to be in the room with obnoxious BIL again. Got my denial of vac request, as new programs being rolled out, with training, etc, no exceptions.

Not to mention the expense of a sitter for two cats.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Best were done quickly

Took both cats to the vet, that was interesting. Eleanor fine, Moby not. Tooth going bad, needs taking out.

Feel bad for leaving it so long, worried about money, the usual crap.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Proper stinkin'

For the sake of counting. Counting down. LDLMP, as I learned in the Army, if still spotting a bit.

Not stinking as badly as last time, there's a plus!