The memory of smoke

The memory of smoke

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Jan 24th

Which is a calendar month after. Hitting my brain hard. All the emotional symptoms too.

Fumbling.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Fool me once

FIL pushes us to send xmas card to blind 100+ grandmother son barely knows, I do not. I find her a lovely little music box, wrap and send it. Hear through son/DH it got there and liked. I do not get thanks directly. I know this is petty, but dear fuck, why not?

Not going to be guilted into more, ever again. I don't mind not being thanked, but I assume that more will not be appreciated, so why try again? Not a chance. I hate being pressured into obligation I do not agree I have in the first place. Act out of general kindness, am ignored.

Screw it if they try to put me on the spot again. No. No thanks. I'd rather not.