Beyond the myth, the clear blue

The very best part of the continued estrangement from my genetic kin is how much better each cut cord feels. First I left the religion of my childhood, which took a while to completely clean away. Then radio silence for a decade, and finally the last try, and the clearing out my head of all the old, false, attachments.

I just keep feeling happier and freer with each fallen illusion.

Not like I'm all that great.

My closest genetic kin are not good people. I have to keep this in mind, lest I regret the estrangement. Even in comparison with me, just not good.

Oh, I got to be decent, but that is because of D, nothing they did.

If god does exist, there's some 'splainin' to do.

There is one reason I do not love god. God never loved me. Probably because god does not exist.

Which is forgivable.

One of the drawbacks

Three cases, and it took all damn day. Not all good surgeons are fast, but all fast surgeons are good. Today, one room, me in it, and a surgeon who is neither.

Ok, maybe not bad, but I wouldn't go to him, or send anyone to him.

Pessimism run amok

It just doesn't get better, and I always forget how crappy it is, every damn month. Only smoke to breathe. Everything hurts.

It's all terrible.