So, the ex used to "remind" me that I was fiddling with my toes. Well, duh, yeah. I'd managed to push my toes into a more normal position throughout my childhood, and that habitual manipulation worked. I wasn't doing myself any harm, I found it comforting to put my fingers between my toes, but he saw it as a bad habit, that he was "helping" me be aware of and stop. He also "reminded" me when I was standing with more weight on one foot or the other, as though it were bad posture, rather than normal weight shifting.
It's called Controposto.
He's old and alone now.