House, we are sorry about the humans who used to own you. We will always use good, solid paint for you, and never showy "Ralph Loren" paint just for the style. We will take care of plumbing and electricity and vermin and foundations before silly cosmetics. We will love you for the grand old girl you are, and never fill you with silly Ikea shit. I'll take care of your gardens and yard, and not let the trees threaten your roof. No more fires in your fireplace, but at least you won't fill with smoke and ashes again. And no more undermining your foundations with a hack fix for a laundry drain.
We love you, dear house. Be patient with us, we will keep attentive and work on your problems every month of every year. We love you, as does your household god - Moby.
We'll paint that back room next week.