Six week gap, then started Thursday. Hard to complain. Bad news about the taxes.
Will have to live very frugally this year, more than usual.
The memory of smoke
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Saturday, January 26, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
DTs from nyquil
Falling asleep the first night not taking cold meds for several days.
Taking a man's and a woman's coat to the car to be dry cleaned. Men's sportsjacket on a hanger on the door frame of the car, the door partially closed on it. I put all three into the car as a woman's voice begs me for a coat or money. I refuse, and she keeps badgering me. When I stand in front of her and tell her no, she comes toward me, still begging, threatening, and I take out a knife, threaten her, and finally stab her.
I see a dark, flat landscape, a plain at night in winter, a dim horizon, and the bright animated, blood spatters, in CGI circles. More spatters of bright color, perfect circles of red, blue, purple, then multicolor circles, then streaks, and I am aware that some people claim they don't dream in color, and this is wrong. The display continues, sharp edged, ultra real, a wave of black & white bubbles, each with an eye. Then a huge octopus, with bright multi colored, perfectly round, suctions, fills the field of vision. Then scuba divers, and faces, and I chant to myself, colored circles, colored circles, because I know faces will become nightmares. Then the whole landscape becomes insectoid and mechanistic, HR Geiger wallpaper, all moving. Fascinating, but I know the skulls and horrors will come soon. I mange to move and break the prodromal phase.
I get up and take melatonin, sit for a while and read, then come back to bed, cold, but surer of sleep.
Taking a man's and a woman's coat to the car to be dry cleaned. Men's sportsjacket on a hanger on the door frame of the car, the door partially closed on it. I put all three into the car as a woman's voice begs me for a coat or money. I refuse, and she keeps badgering me. When I stand in front of her and tell her no, she comes toward me, still begging, threatening, and I take out a knife, threaten her, and finally stab her.
I see a dark, flat landscape, a plain at night in winter, a dim horizon, and the bright animated, blood spatters, in CGI circles. More spatters of bright color, perfect circles of red, blue, purple, then multicolor circles, then streaks, and I am aware that some people claim they don't dream in color, and this is wrong. The display continues, sharp edged, ultra real, a wave of black & white bubbles, each with an eye. Then a huge octopus, with bright multi colored, perfectly round, suctions, fills the field of vision. Then scuba divers, and faces, and I chant to myself, colored circles, colored circles, because I know faces will become nightmares. Then the whole landscape becomes insectoid and mechanistic, HR Geiger wallpaper, all moving. Fascinating, but I know the skulls and horrors will come soon. I mange to move and break the prodromal phase.
I get up and take melatonin, sit for a while and read, then come back to bed, cold, but surer of sleep.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Prove it
When I paint, my object is to show what I have found and not what I am looking for. In art intentions are not sufficient and, as we say in Spanish: love must be proved by facts and not by reasons. What one does is what counts and not what one had the intention of doing.
-Picasso.
Not a bad definition for love.
-Picasso.
Not a bad definition for love.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Dreamed I had to take a test in a Dairy Queen on another planet.
Drugged dreams, in an alien mind. Spiky, dull, pressing dreams. Incomprehensible but annoying.
Not sure if that's worse than a straightforward nightmare.
Not sure if that's worse than a straightforward nightmare.
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