Finally, yesterday, LDLMP.
Mothering has to involve not letting your child feel judged for every damn thing. But when mom judges everyone around, as a lesson to daughter of what not to do, then shows no interest in the adult child becomes, she will be judged in return. I hid everything of myself that she criticized in others, all the time. I never gave her the chance not to like me, but she didn't anyway.
I'm not real to her, there is no connection between us.
I drop the rope. But my imagined mother still haunts me.