"When I think about the most painful conflicts and betrayals I've experienced, the worst thing they all have in common was the moment where the person who was supposed to care about me and be on my side stopped negotiating on my behalf and started negotiating with me on behalf of the person or situation that harmed me. That's the part I can't forgive, all the times it was supposedly on me to 'be the bigger person' and keep showing up to be mistreated. 'But you can't expect _____ to do the right thing, so you have to do it.' 'You're lucky and have resources that your [bully][rapist] [abuser]doesn't, you have to set an example.' 'Why do you insist on antagonizing _____[a person I just wanted to ignore and be ignored by literally forever and went out of my way to avoid] by [getting visibly injured/upset when they harm you] and [demanding that they leave you alone]?' 'Just give them a chance, otherwise how will they learn?'