Who *tells* a spouse what not to do?

Twice in the recent past I have had my mother and a woman at work say their husbands "wouldn't let them" do something. With my 87 year old mother, with a bully of a husband, there is some sense - even though I think that in a couple adhering to traditional roles - a husband would not interfere with anything to do with a kitchen - banning canisters on counters, use of bleach - as with my mother, is just out of bounds. With the woman at work a mere decade older than me, and I can't remember what her husband forbad, it just seems like a child blaming a parent for not being able to do something they didn't want to do anyway in front of the other children who think whatever it is is cool.

I can't imagine Dylan trying to tell me not to do anything, since we are equals and adults, not parent and child.